I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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