ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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