hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
