We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
