So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
