This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
