If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
