Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
