I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
