True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
