Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
