The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
