You really coming over, don't trick.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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