btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Text me some of your sweat
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
