So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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