glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
