He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
