1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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