How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
