Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I have peed in a lot of sinks
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
