some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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