If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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