So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
