Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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