I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
