I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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