he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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