Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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