Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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