I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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