We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
