using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
