Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
