Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
