Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
