and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I am available for nakedness
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
