Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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