Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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