she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
