He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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