Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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