Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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