oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
