Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
