she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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