Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The Olympian is in my bed
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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