It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
