So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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