Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
