I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
